Sylar

[Filtered to Claire]

It worries me how quiet you've been lately Claire.

I've been thinking about you a lot. Wondering how you're doing, what you're up to.

I saw Mohinder had the nerve to post, I'm sorry for that.

How are you?

[Private Entry]

Well this is...useful.

Waking up next to Claire Bennet is not what I expected to do this morning,

Waking up next to Claire Bennet in the body of Peter Petrelli is even less what I expected.

And I have his abilities, all of his wonderful abilities.

Body swap this Q creature calls it, which is nice and all, But I can't help but wonder, if Peter has my body...Does he know I'm powerless.

I can't use the power. Dammit, I can't kill her.

Still there are other things that I can do. This could prove very useful.

[Filtered to Peter]

If I'm you...

Why am I in a bed with Claire Bennet and why can't I access your abilities.

What the hell is this?

Gwen and her lawyer friend are gone...probably dead in the ruins of LA.

Its Impressive really...I mean the rumor was I'd destroy a city but she's managed it.

I hope she died knowing she's just as much a murderer as I am

Taking my child, my son into her war.

And the cowboy let her.

A wasted life, wasted potential.

[Private Entry]

He could have had so much...

He would have been special. Like her, like me,

I think I hate her for it. Its funny I don't usually hate my victims, I usually pity them.

Like those here who mourn and cry for her and her cowboy.

They aren't the victims here.

[Filtered to Gwen]

( Consequences )

[Private Entry]

Interesting couple of days.

I thought that I found a way to restore my powers. A woman...they say is a healer, its said she can see into the heart of things, find the problem, fix it. Not dissimilar to what I can do...could do...

But before I could get to her she...I think she knew, sensed, because she took her family and fled. I'll find her or I'll get to New York...to Mohinder. Make him help me somehow.

Just hard to do when your on America's Most Wanted and regarded armed and dangerous.

Gwen though...Its been fun, the poor woman doesn't know what to think or what to do. She lets me in so easily, lets me talk to her, lets me whisper in her ear.

And likes it.

Not to mention the interesting contact I got. I don't know how she found me...I don't know what she did but she found the number of the seedy motel where I'm staying. Left me a message offering me help. To get to Gwen

Calls herself Eve and says Gwen is stealing her boyfriend away. Her boyfriend the lawyer. This could be interesting.

[Filtered to Peter]

I was right about Mohinder...

What does that tell you.

Your working against them aren't you. The Company, you and Richard your planning something.

If I asked would you tell me?

And I won't insult your intelligence I'm not sorry about Noah Bennet. That man did so much to me that was unforgivable. But I am surprised Mohinder went that far

[Filtered to Gwen]

You didn't tell me...

I understand why, Just...when you know the truth, when its proven to you.

Think about what I've said.

[Filtered to Gwen]

The things you might read here...

It was before I loved you.

You want to know who Sylar is. Its here. Its all here.

I'm so sorry Gwen.

[Filtered from Mohinder]

I didn't die at Kirby Plaza.

I didn't die and I want you all to know you have nothing to fear from me. I've gone...

I need to fight what I am, thats what I'm starting to understand. For Gwen and for our son I have to fight the hunger that seems to overwhelm me.

Because I realized in New York that I love her. Yes its possible and I challenge anyone to tell me its not.

I had so many chances to kill her and I didn't. She...

How could I not love her.

Peter Petrelli, Claire Bennet, I'm far enough away but please don't look for me. I'm trying to stop, and your abilities...I don't know how much I could fight against taking them.

For your own sake stay away.

I've filtered this from Mohinder because of what he's been doing. His links with the company, even if he is working to destroy them as he says...

They took me and they tested me, they nearly killed me. So did Mohinder once as it happens. So forgive me if I don't want to be their lab rat.

I'm doing this, telling you all, because I need to change.

I have to make some kind of start.

[Private Entry]

I'm lost. I'm somewhere in South America but thats not what I mean.

My abilities are gone, Telekinisis, Enhanced Hearing, all of it gone, snuffed out after I should logically have died.

Even my own ability is gone.

I've managed to lie to Gwen. Tell her I knew what she was talking about, bluff, turns out I'm good at that and I think I have her wrong footed enough to suspect I've taken more abilities. And I've tried...more than once since discovering this.

Its gone.

So I need to know why, I need my powers back, But I can't think of how.

And then there's the other thing, She's pregnant. And its mine, or I suppose Winchesters, but she's special and so am I. It's mine.

A child is evolution at work I think. It will have abilities...

I don't know how to feel about that, perhaps when I kill the cheerleader I'll know, I'll be unkillable then. It will make thinking about things like this easier.

Mohinder doesn't need to know yet. Let him wonder. And Petrelli...He doesn't even know who he is. But I can't face him, I can't until I can win.

And right now. I wouldn't win.

[Private Entry]

Somethings wrong.

I mean besides the stab wound. Stabbed by a silly little man. I shouldn't have ignored Mendez power...I know it, I have it.

Or I did.

Because my abilities, they haven't returned and even typing it it doesn't feel real. But in the last few days I've had to face up to it.

I'm powerless.

That idiot girl, Michelle she called herself told me she could help me, I think that she really believed it would gain her something too. I killed her quickly and simply and set to work, If I'd lost my abilities I could start again, see how she works and take her illusions.

But they haven't come.

I need a new plan, I need a new strategy and being somewhere in South America doesn't help matters.

I don't think I like feeling this scared.

Desperate.

Funny....Last time I posted here they hated me...so very much...I could have taken her power...Gwen Raiden...It could have been mine and the fact that it isn't, is more my fault than anyone else's....There were so very many chances to kill her.

I didn't take that opportunity like I should, and I don't know why and in some ways it bothers me.

Not more than almost dying though. Kirby Plaza. Peter Petrelli, that blonde bitch that decided to get involved...and Nakamura

Even Mohinder though Petrelli had to have known he had my full attention.

He's found his way here, and the little cheerleader. Once I have my abilities back, I will face him again and this time I'll kill him.

But still on many levels its Gwen I want.

Its still a game, Now there will just need to be different rules.

....Its a hell of a town.

I think that it will be, I really do and tomorrow really will be a day to remember.

As it turns out though, Issac gift wasn't so perfectly prophetic....

He thought that I would die. Stabbed through the heart by some silly little man. I know none of you would really shed a tear but is that really very likely.

And I suppose I should tell you about Gwen and dear Piper and her sisters...

.....Or not.

That ability of hers though. I really will remember her fondly.

Bright and early Election Day in New York city and I suppose your all wondering if she's alive. Was Mohinders, frankly adorable pleading enough.
Telling you that really would spoil the entertainment though wouldn't it. Good luck in New York today to whoever of you is here. Crowded and full of feds as it is. I think I'll be forgiven my vote, other things to do. Though watch as Petrelli wins. I don't know how but he will.
Its his destiny apparently.
Just as mine is to take what I have to from Gwen and people like her.

[Private Entry]


Dean Winchester.

He really could have ruined it all. I'm starting to not like interfering sets of brothers and I think I've just discovered another set.

What if she'd properly fallen for him and decided not to come here. I can't leave New York not now. My destiny is here. Not to mention I really did want to get to her first, It would hurt her all the more when I finally do take her power. It seemed right that way.

But he didn't stop her coming to me. All it took were a few kind words and a well placed mention of how my mother died.

It really was an accident. I didn't expect it. But then I suppose I need to cast off all that made me Gabriel.

Evolution demands it.

Pity Gwen won't be around by then. All her talk of being a freak. I'm sure she'd feel right at home after the 'bomb'

Christmas was quiet this year, I suppose with my Mother gone there was very little to do. I made sure the shop was in order and that things were arranged with her family.

I had offers of Christmas dinner from most of them but I wasn't really in a mood for family I barely know.

So I stayed at home and made a few resolutions for the new year.

[Private Entry]


Not least getting my hands on the pretty electric girl and her power. Its been more easy than I could have hoped . Gabriel Gray is still good for some things.

She confides in me, about her power and its limitations, about what happened with the vampire she calls Angelus, Sounds like an interesting guy, for being dead. Can't say I envy him that.

So New Years:

Gwen and her Power.
Peter Petrelli.
Bennett's kid, and Bennett himself. Possibly the wife. (I really didn't like that cage)
Hiro
The Walker girl.

I know very little about some of the people on my friends list. Some people I know relatively well. I read your journals, or we have something else in common and we chat occasionally. Some of you I hardly know at all. Perhaps you lurk, for whatever reason. But you friended me and I thank you for your interest in my words.

But here's a thought: why not take this opportunity to tell me a little something about yourself? Any old thing at all, the more trivial and fascinating, the better. Just so the next time I see your name I can say: "Ah, there's so and so...they enjoy nose-picking on balmy summer evenings, and have a giant birthmark shaped like a wilderbeest on their right buttock."

I'd love it if every single person who friended me would do this. Yes, even you people who I know really well. Then post this in your own journal and see what gems of knowledge appear.

And while we're at it, let's go for another round of that questions thing. If you've wanted to ask me something, go ahead. Anonymous if you want to, and I'll answer as honestly as I can.

[Sent by Courier to arrive within two days to Gwen Raiden C/O W&H Offices LA]

A Bottle of South African Merlot and a little box of handmade chocolate from an NYC Chocolatiere

and this




Along with a note

( Gwen )

[Filtered to Friends]


( Maybe it'll take my mind of things )

My Mother died today. I'm not sure how it happened but she died.

I'm not sure how your supposed to feel. Its different to Dad, He slipped away one night in his sleep...She...

I wish I knew how it happened.

[Private Entry]

...I just wanted to show her I was special. But she thought I was evil. She attacked me and in the struggle....

And now Hiro, he's on some idiot mission to kill me.

Coward couldn't do it.

I tried to fight the future. Turns out Issac was right and you can't.

Gabriel's gone. Dead.

My name is Sylar.

Do you all believe in destiny. Like a predetermined event that can't be stopped no matter what you do.

Something your going to do no matter how much you may think you don't want to or that its not something you'd ever do.

Is there still a choice.

[Private Entry]

( The ability doesn't lie )